You don't need a cabinet full of cleaners!
You don't need a cabinet full of cleaners!


Name: William Darrell "Billy" Mays, Jr.
Origin: Real Life
Gender: Male
Classification: TV Pitchman
Age: 50 at time of death
Powers and Abilities: Super strength, has the loudest voice in the world, can sell anything to anyone, mastery of using many amazing products in combat
Weaknesses: Cocaine, Vince Offer
Destructive Capacity: Planet level
Range: Capable of destroying any lamp from anywhere
Speed: Fast enough to make 5 restaurant - size mini burgers at once
Durability: Peak human, universe level+ and potentially multiversal with Orange Glo and Impact Gel
Strength: Billy Mays has muscle to support up to 350,000 lbs. and the strength to pull this fully loaded, 80,000 lb. tractor trailer!
Stamina: Billy Mays never quits, when he's up against the wall, that's when he performs best!
Intelligence: Smarter than Vince since he knows that the Germans don't always make good stuff
Standard Equipment:

- Awesome Auger: The world's most efficient and powerful yard tool. Doubles as the world's most efficient and powerful spear.
- Big City Slider Station: Creates 47 million Big City Sliders to attack your family
- The Ding King: Creates dings in his opponent which he then hits with a hammer
- Green Away: Capable of destroying 60,000 trees, shrubs, and bushes
- Impact Gel: Makes Billy Mays invincible to all physical attacks
- Orange Glo: Creates an invisible shield which protects him from all non - physical attacks
- Oxi-Clean: Capable of cleaning enemies off the face of reality
- Two easy steps: With just two easy steps, he can climb right over these seats and kick you right in the fucking balls.
- Zorbeez: Better than ShamWow
- Big City Collider Station: Creates a black hole

Notable attacks/Techniques: See above

Notable OBD Victories:

Notable OBD Losses:

Other: YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH WHEN BILLY MAYS IS TALKING